Mindfulness, Meditation and Internal Family SystemsSM
By Alicia Dabney, AMFT, APCC, ATR, and Clinician at the IFS Telehealth Collective*
You’ve probably heard about the emotional and physical benefits of meditation and mindfulness at some point or another, likely from numerous sources ranging from science publications to spiritual teachers, therapists, or even social media influencers. Maybe you’ve tried meditation for yourself or have installed one of the popular meditation apps on your phone. Whether you have a regular practice, have intermittently tried it before giving up on it, or are merely curious, this article explores the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach to mindfulness, and how these practices can augment your progress in therapy.
What is Mindfulness?
The terms meditation and mindfulness are often used interchangeably, where the latter can either describe a formal practice or the general act of embracing the present moment. Meditation broadly refers to an act of contemplation or reflection with numerous practices used for skill-building, increasing self-awareness, bringing yourself to the present moment, personal growth, or as part of a spiritual tradition. Jon Kabat-Zinn describes mindfulness as “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.” Similarly, Joseph Goldstein defines mindfulness as “the quality and power of mind that is deeply aware of what’s happening – without commentary and without interference.” Mindfulness is also described as reaching a state in which the nervous system relaxes and the mind efforts less, enabling us to let go into a state of calm. These types of practices are recognized for their benefits in reducing stress and anxiety, improving mental health, supporting physical pain, improving sleep quality and concentration, and bringing about an overall sense of well-being.
Mindfulness and Meditation in Psychotherapy
Some of the more commonly known meditation practices for general wellness and in psychotherapy include present-moment focus, drawn from Buddhist principles of Vipassana insight meditation and Zen meditation. Gestalt Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBCT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). All incorporate some aspect of present-moment focus, ranging from simply noticing what is present in the moment at any given time, to focusing on the cognitions that arise during meditation.
Guided relaxation and visualization techniques exist as another broad category. These approaches to meditation are especially popular on meditation apps and may incorporate breathing exercises, body scans, mantras, reflections, and guided imagery around a specific intention. Hypnotherapy utilizes aspects of guided relaxation and calming messages similar to mantras to bring about a state of peace, increase awareness, and support behavior changes. In contrast, reflection meditation practices can be more active and engaging while you contemplate gratitude, goals, challenges, or a decision you face. Lovingkindness meditation, also referred to by the Pali word metta, links once again to Buddhist principles and is used to cultivate kindness for yourself and others.
What is Internal Family Systems Approach to Mindfulness?
Where does IFS fall within all of these approaches? Mindfulness and IFS can be complementary to each other. Mindfulness supports the nervous system and can build new neural pathways to provide a greater foundation for focus and stillness. In IFS, this can translate into a greater ability to connect to your internal world and get to know one part of you at a time while settling into a deeper sense of core Self-energy.
Philosopher Martin Buber’s thesis on human existence used the term I-thou to describe a relationship that allows for empathy between subjects, as opposed to the I-it relationship that objectifies or analyzes. Perhaps the biggest difference with IFS is that many of the aforementioned mindfulness approaches take a more distancing, I-it passive observer stance when connecting to whatever is present inside.
Some approaches even teach ways to separate yourself from negative thoughts, emotions, and sensations so that they don’t become overwhelming. However, in the perspective of IFS, this could send the message to parts of you that they are somehow too much, not enough, or are something to be feared or managed away. All parts are welcome in IFS, even the ones we may instinctively want to avoid.
The Curious Heart
Psychologist Paul Ginter, Co-founder of the IFS Telehealth Collective and IFS Lead Trainer, beautifully describes this I-thou experience as that of the curious heart, whereas the I-it experience is that of the curious mind. In IFS, we are often relating to a part as if it has a consciousness of its own, regardless of whether it appears to you as a full person, or is more abstract and sensory. This I-thou way of relating can elicit more Self naturally as we connect to parts with a curious heart and a felt sense of care and compassion. This experience of Self may begin simply as awareness but can deepen to become so much more through a process of dynamic mindfulness.
Similarly, Richard Schwartz, Ph.D., developer of the IFS model, wrote in Psychotherapy Networker, “If you consider your thoughts, emotions, urges, and impulses to be coming from an inner landscape that’s best understood as a kind of internal family, populated by sub-personalities, many of whom are childlike and are suffering, then it makes more sense to take that next step of comforting and holding these inner selves rather than just observing and objectifying them.”
A Dynamic Inner Landscape
IFS offers an engaged, relational form of mindfulness by bringing awareness to whatever is present, opening up space to be with the parts of you that you meet inside, and leaning in with compassion and curiosity to be with whatever is present. It involves listening and responding to what these parts may need from you or want you to understand about them. The wonderful thing about all of this is that connecting inside can be tailored to your own needs and your unique individual system. It may take the form of connecting with parts in small moments so that, over time, there is greater Self-trust from your parts. It may take the form of getting to know protectors or even negotiating with them when polarized. The IFS way of mindfulness supports you in accessing Self and its qualities, or unblending from parts to create more space for Self to emerge and be present with them.
Perhaps you might begin this practice in a session with your IFS therapist, or it can become a wonderful way to accelerate your progress and build trust in the process when used as a personal practice throughout the week. There are so many ways your parts can make themselves known to you. They may communicate their presence with thoughts, images, emotions, sensations in and around your body, impulses, or urges. Some will be quiet and subtle, and others may make themselves known loud and clear. No matter what you’re noticing—from your breath alone to body sensations, to a cacophony of parts—the biggest goal is to be present with compassion, care, and curiosity in whatever way is most needed.
Finally, IFS offers a path to go even further than most mindfulness and meditation practices by setting the stage to heal the burdens we carry and transforming our inner world. As we transform ourselves we begin to transform the world we live in. If you live in California, Florida, Massachusetts, Michigan, New York, or Oregon, a therapist at IFS Telehealth Collective can help you find and connect with those parts that need to be seen, heard, and ultimately healed by you. Contact our Client Care Coordinator or call 503-447-3244 today!
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*Alicia Larsen Dabney is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #119864, Associate Professional Clinical Counselor #8016, Level 3 Trained IFS Certified Practitioner #0877, and Registered Art Therapist #20-261. Supervised by Andrew Pflueger LMFT #86223.
