Getting To Know IFS Therapy
Interest in the Internal Family SystemsSM model has been steadily increasing, among clinicians and their clients. Many people have become disillusioned by our modern health system and its limitations in treating mental health, finding the focus leans too heavily towards diagnosing pathology and medicating symptoms. In contrast, IFS is valued for providing an effective, evidenced-based alternative that offers us real hope about lasting change.
In this non-pathologizing approach, developer Richard Schwartz PhD goes one step further than his family systems theory contemporaries. He views the root of our distress as our inability to live as our most authentic Self, which is covered over by the ‘parts’ of our personality that had to take over to survive a world that could be rejecting and dangerous. The most vulnerable parts (termed ‘exiles’) are often frozen in the past and carry painful burdens, while other parts attempt to offer protection or relief (termed ‘protectors’). All of these parts are seen as inherently good but stuck in roles that no longer serve due to feeling burdened and polarized, without a true leader for the pack (termed ‘Self’).
Schwartz also discovered that parts of us interact internally just like people do in the outer world, with varying degrees of harmony or conflict. Naturally, what happens in the outer world affects us internally. Likewise, our internal world can affect the world outside. As such, IFS therapy can be seen as a generous act -- when a client feels less burdened and more authentic they bring their best Self to the world around them.
The Model appeals and draws us in because, to many of us, it just makes sense. How often in our daily lives are we confronted with very different parts of us - the one who shows up for work and the one who shows up for play? How often can we sense our competing sides at war? We say, “a part of me wants to go on a run or exercise, but another part of me wants to curl up on the couch and watch a show” or “on the one hand I’m excited to have a child, but on the other I’m terrified of becoming a parent.” Or we may even have a good idea of how we would like to respond to our partner after a disagreement, but instead we’re overrun by the part of us intent on proving a point and making our hurt feelings known (at whatever cost). Both in our everyday choices, and as we step back to write the narrative of our life, we can see different sides of us yearning to be heard and vying for control.
We’re All Naturally Multiple
IFS acknowledges that all of us have ongoing, complex relationships with many different voices, sensations, thought patterns and emotions inside ourselves. These are manifestations of our parts. Central to the work of IFS therapy is engaging in conversations with these parts where they can be identified, explored, and transformed.
Our internal world often reflects the impact of relationships we had in childhood, especially with our primary caregivers, played out as distinct sensations, voices or thoughts, emotional states, impulses, memories, or as different roles/behaviors.
We can find comfort and empowerment in the discovery of a central essence within. Our innate Self energy is capable of engaging intuitively and compassionately with our parts in a way that is deeply healing. By listening from Self, we can discover what each part needs, how they attempt to serve or contribute, and restore balance and harmony to the whole internal system.
Self & Parts
Regardless of age or background, inside people everywhere is a richly complex personality system with parts that take on certain roles, as well as an innately wise Self with capacities to lead and heal:
“Self”
The you that is innately curious, compassionate and wise. A presence within that is separate from parts of the personality; aka Self-energy.
“Exiles”
Vulnerable and sensitive parts burdened with the deepest pain. Often frozen in the past and kept in hiding.
“Managers” Proactive Protectors
Responsible for maintaining order and preventing future pain; At their extreme, use criticism, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.
“Firefighters” Reactive Protectors
In the moment of alarm, our first line of defense in distracting from and suppressing emotional vulnerability and pain.
Through compassionate and focused listening, it becomes apparent that at their core each part has some positive intention and yearns to be liberated from extreme roles once it becomes safe to do so.
Many Protector parts take on jobs to keep us from being overwhelmed by intense feelings held by our most tender parts, the exiles. To them it only makes sense to build fortresses around the heart or go on the offensive to get needs met, no matter the cost. Because these strategies provided some degree of stability in the past, protectors often feel justified in continuing and pessimistic about there being a better alternative.
It’s within these hidden sides of us where we store distorted beliefs about ourselves and the world. Beliefs such as “I’m not lovable or worthy,” “I’m broken,” or “there must be something wrong with me” are incredibly shameful and uncomfortable, and it makes sense we’d create strategies to avoid experiencing them. If only that really worked.
Ironically, their banishment internally makes them even more desperate, holding deep pain that festers until they’re rescued. Despite protective measures, exiles often break out of hiding in search of someone to save them, a move that typically backfires, leaving them even more hurt and disappointed.
Instead of searching “out there” for help, in IFS therapy we know clients hold the key to healing within. With attuned, compassionate witnessing, Self energy provides profound healing to even the most forgotten parts of us. With IFS, when we unburden our parts we reclaim their gifts for a richer, more authentic and meaningful life.
Why Does IFS Therapy Work?
Although this model is considered one of the newer and more progressive approaches, it is making inroads in traditional therapeutic circles. Richard Schwartz has long been convinced of the transformational healing power available to us when we take the time to listen to and understand the intentions of our parts.
IFS therapy can do what other therapies often have difficulty doing, getting past the defenses that create “resistance” to the therapeutic process itself. In IFS these parts of the personality are appreciated for their positive intentions to protect, even though their strategies may backfire. These “protectors” often chime in claiming that “therapy doesn’t work for me,” that “therapy will be too painful” or “I’m too broken to be fixed”. With IFS, as we recognize and address their concerns, a sense of trust grows and permission is granted to tend the vulnerable parts they’re protecting.
Through non-judgemental inquiry and the knowledge that there are no bad parts of us, we practice true Self-compassion. We bring genuine hope to protectors and gain their permission to safely access the exiles - bringing Self energy as healing balm for long-neglected wounds.
The premise of IFS therapy is empowering right from the start by distinguishing our most authentic ‘Self’ from the different parts of us that get us through life. In therapy, this is helpful right from the start. Because IFS therapists know that even extreme parts are inherently worthwhile, it makes it easier for clients to explore any behavior or thought that feels troubling. We discover that we are more than the problems we face, and through IFS, we can access more effective answers inside ourselves about how we want to live.
By learning to listen deeply to the many different parts inside, revealing the healing power of an inherently wise and caring Self at the core, IFS clients come to love and trust all of who they are while seeing the world through a more compassionate lens.
For many people, IFS is a personal process for understanding themselves and others, a means for finding purpose and meaning in life during times of challenge, and/or a daily practice of self-compassion.
What does an IFS therapy session look like?
Why Create IFS-Telehealth Collective?
We have seen firsthand that IFS is a tool of incredible transformative power. It allows people to tune into themselves in a new way, and access their own healing capabilities.
Beyond that, IFS is recognized as an evidence-based approach that is effective with a wide range of issues: from anxiety and depression to chronic stress and complex trauma.
Applications of this model are not solely limited to the realm of therapy. Most recently implemented in the fields of business, education, mediation and other helping professions, IFS is being used to foster greater understanding and to create environments inclusive of and empathetic towards all our parts.
In more recent years IFS has gained the attention of notable professionals such as trauma pioneer Bessel van der Kolk, and Gabor Maté, the Canadian physician and addiction expert. Globally, IFS is growing rapidly as more clinicians and clients are exposed to the Model, creating a demand for resources to share with others and to support their own growth.
Our vision for this practice is to spread the transformational healing that IFS offers as far and wide as possible.
Our Vision
We’re committed to creating a therapeutic environment that empowers clients to transform and reclaim parts of themselves from a place of compassion and curiosity, allowing them to live meaningful and healthy lives. We are committed to delivering exceptional Internal Family SystemsSM telehealth services to our clients by providing exceptional IFS consultation and support to the clinicians who serve them.
Even prior to the current global crisis, we’ve known that the IFS model lends itself particularly well to telehealth counseling since much of the focus is directed inward. Telehealth offers the relief of not having to travel home or back to the office, allowing clients extra time in their own comfortable space to integrate shifts after powerful or emotional sessions.
An important intention behind our virtual group practice is our interest in reaching previously underserved areas. Now even clients in remote locations can access the care of a more seasoned and skilled IFS therapist licensed in their state.
Foundationally, IFS-TC is much more than a way of connecting clinicians and clients. We are a community of clinicians who believe in the power of this Model and are dedicated to applying it faithfully and authentically. To support this aim, clinicians receive regular consultation and education from two IFS Lead Trainers and ongoing peer support from the Collective. This is in addition to a library of resources: meditations, worksheets and handouts designed to support you in your healing journey.
Connect with Us
We respect every person’s right to begin their healing process right where they are and honor that this looks different for each person. We gratefully acknowledge our privilege in bearing witness to profound transformations through IFS, and are truly passionate about the work that we do.
We are excited to provide services to clients in California, New York, Florida, Massachusetts, Oregon and Michigan. If you live in one of these states, please reach out to our referral coordinator or call 503-447-3244 to get connected with an IFS trained clinician. If you don’t see your state listed above, join our interest list, and we’ll notify you as soon as we begin seeing clients in your area.
If you’re looking to learn more about IFS, check out our website, and come back for weekly blogs from our IFS-Telehealth Collective experts.
