Strengthening Intimacy Through Self-Discovery

Our drive to connect is one of our deepest instincts, as innate as our drive to eat, drink, or find shelter. Because of this incredibly natural need, a rupture in an important relationship can feel like a crisis. When you reach an impasse or struggle with a seemingly intractable dynamic in your relationship, you may feel helpless.

You might feel like you know what you need in your relationship…but do you know how to get there?

The connection and intimacy you crave is closer than you think with IFS Couples Therapy.

IFS can give you the shared language and tools you need to move beyond destructive patterns and toward communicating in a way your loved ones can actually hear. What’s more, IFS will teach you how to hold and nurture the most vulnerable parts of you, so that you can show up to your relationships whole and ready for true intimacy.

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Call us at (503) 447-3244

Who is IFS Couples Therapy for?

IFS couples therapy isn’t just for romantic partnerships.

Every important relationship can run into roadblocks, whether it is a romantic partnership, family relationship, or friendship. The IFS Telehealth Collective is now offering remote couples therapy to support any of the relationships you are looking to improve. If you are interested in exploring IFS Therapy with your partner or another important person in your life, get in touch with us today.

Couples therapy isn’t just for relationships in crisis.

You might seek support preventatively, to address the misunderstandings and challenges that inevitably present in any close connection. Or you might notice that a particular relationship in your life, be it a romantic partnership, friendship, or family relationship, feels disconnected, stuck, or in conflict in ways that have become the norm, rather than the exception.

Whatever the case is for you, we’re here to help.

IFS Telehealth Collective therapists can provide the common language, tools, and supportive space needed for you and your partner to engage in mutual reflection, compassion, and growth.

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What is your approach to IFS couples therapy?

IFS Telehealth Collective relationship therapists utilize Internal Family Systems as the foundation of therapy. We affirm that we all have an inner system of parts, and that these parts of us become activated in intimate relationships, forming patterns or cycles of relating, for better or worse. Sometimes these cycles of interaction can become ineffective or reactive, which leads to stagnation and conflict.

To begin, we pace sessions in order to deeply understand and map the dynamics of conflict in your relationship. For instance, what are the ways that you both protect yourselves through your communication or behavior? Are you aware of the vulnerability underneath the protectiveness? Are you able to communicate your feelings and needs to your partner and feel heard by them? When your partner shares something with you, are you able to take it in?

In couples therapy we track these patterns, and then we support each person to connect to themselves and one another in a deeper way. Healthy communication and closeness with your partner are much more likely to flourish when your relationship with yourself is strong and regulated. From this place of inner strength and steadiness, you can then turn toward your partner in new and deeper ways, fostering the kind of connection you long for. Along the way, we work to develop the skills for self soothing, conflict de-escalation, and effective communication.

If you want deep change, you have to do deep work.

We believe relationships can facilitate deep healing for each partner, and can offer us all the profound experience of being safely bonded with others. We want to support you and your relationship so that you can experience more ease and connectedness. It is our aim to bring you an increased sense of overall clarity and satisfaction in your relationship.

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What can you expect in IFS couples therapy?

In IFS couples therapy, it is crucial for each person to feel heard and valued in the therapeutic space. Your therapist will speak with you about what you need to feel most comfortable, and how to accommodate that together. Because therapy is not always easy, feeling supported is necessary.

Your therapist is here to provide the structure, the support, and at times the challenge needed for growth. You can expect your therapist to value each member in the relationship equally, and to work from the standpoint that there is rarely (if ever) one person, one circumstance, or one situation responsible for the difficulties in a relationship.

If you are ready to take the next step, reach out to us! Our team will schedule you a 30-minute consultation with one of our relationship therapists.

Frequently Asked Questions About IFS Couples Therapy

It’s always better to go sooner rather than later, before the ruptures add up and your protectors feel very entrenched. It’s also good to come in preemptively, just for the sake of fostering relational health.
We find out exactly who is communicating from the inside – it may be coming from different parts that don’t hold the whole story. We can help you navigate what’s really going on inside yourselves and find the most helpful ways to get your messages across, so that they’ll best be received. We help you be more receptive to each other’s messages. And then we can help you have any conversation, once you learn to listen more deeply to what’s really needing attention.
We begin with 60 minutes as the minimum time for a session. However, extended length sessions can be arranged. Because the therapy is meant to serve two people instead of one, couples therapy can require more time than an individual session. A longer session can ensure that the time is balanced equally between both people, and that everyone feels comfortable, seen, and supported.
While we are not certified sex therapists, intimacy is a multi-layered issue. Everyone has a unique relationship to their body and sexuality. The better we know ourselves, the more this awareness will enrich the physical and sexual intimacy in our lives. We encourage you to speak with your therapist about how IFS couples therapy can help with sexual intimacy.
Your therapist will screen for safety with each individual in the relationship, confidentially. Safety is our primary concern for everyone involved. If there is a safety risk, couples therapy may not be appropriate.
Not at the moment. While we encourage and are open to all forms of romantic relationships, our practice will only work with non-monogamy if we have a clinician specializing in this area. As it stands we do not have the expertise to work with non-monogamous couples.
We are not in network with any insurance companies. However, we provide automated monthly superbills so that you can seek out-of-network reimbursement from your insurance. In order for this to happen, there must be a member of the couple who is the primary client and who qualifies for a behavioral health diagnosis. If you do not wish to bill your insurance, this step is not necessary.
We provide IFS counseling to couples preparing for marriage. At this time we do not provide a specific, packaged program for premarital counseling.
We work with all kinds of neurotypes. All relationships have parts, and all neurotypes have parts. As long as your therapist is a good fit for your relationship, we are more than happy to work with you.

Begin IFS Couples Therapy at The IFS Telehealth Collective

Ready to take the next step?

If you live in California, Florida, Massachusetts, Michigan, New York, or Oregon, please contact our Client Care Coordinator, or call 503-447-3244 to help you get matched with an IFS trained couples therapist. We are here to support you as you reconnect with your partner and your Self.