What are Parts and Who is Self?
By Alicia Dabney, LMFT, APCC, ATR, and Clinician at the IFS Telehealth Collective*
The terms Parts and Self come up in anything related to Internal Family Systems℠(IFS), but what are they really?
Have you ever noticed you were divided over a decision, or walked around with a pit in your stomach after being hurt, or engaged in an internal dialogue inside after something upsetting happened? Those varied experiences would indicate sub-personalities that have been activated within. The IFS model holds that it is the nature of the mind to be subdivided into these parts as aspects of our personality.
Parts interact internally in the way members of any group of people might with roles and protective responses that fall out of balance as a result of painful events and traumas. In IFS parts are not viewed as pathology, but as healthy multiplicity. Yet it is the Self that elevates the IFS model from other approaches that recognize parts. Self might be described as a wise and healing inner essence inside of you that is different from the parts. Existing inside everyone, a person’s core Self cannot be broken or damaged, though it might be hard to access depending on your life experiences and how much your parts take over. The Self possesses qualities that can lead the internal system, much like an orchestra conductor leads a symphony.
But this article is much more than a primer on parts and Self. Let’s gain a big-picture view of other beliefs, practices, traditions, and psychological approaches that hold similar concepts before diving deeper into the parts and Self recognized in the IFS model.
What Are Parts in IFS?
Subpersonalities, or parts, act and interact internally in ways that are similar to a family. Multiplicity of the mind is considered part of normal development, so experiences in life can affect parts, but parts are not actually created by those experiences. It’s both natural and useful to have a layered personality, full of capacities and useful strategies for navigating life. At times you might notice yourself saying, “A part of me feels one way, while another part of me feels that way…” and those states can exist within you at the same time. The IFS model recognizes this both/and experience, because parts will have many ways of feeling and responding to something. Your parts might make themselves known to you as thoughts, images, emotions, sensations in and around your body, impulses, or urges. They can emerge with clear visuals of them as living, breathing beings—or they can be completely abstract.
Parts are grouped into protectors or exiles. Different protector parts use different strategies: managers will seek to pre-empt emotional pain by keeping things in control, while firefighters will react to emotional pain that has been triggered by trying to numb, distract, or otherwise douse emotions that arise in connection to painful memories and events. What do these two types of protectors have in common? They both do whatever they can to protect the most vulnerable, wounded, exiled parts of us that have taken on burdens and beliefs of shame, worthlessness, loneliness, and feelings of being either too much or not enough. These wounds often “drive the bus” in terms of the way parts and protectors mobilize around them in daily life, either to keep you from feeling those emotions, or to take you away when those emotions are triggered.
Part Roles & Functions
All internal systems are unique to the individual, but managers typically run aspects of day-to-day life. They might also hold roles such as organizing and planning, caregiving, people-pleasing, learning, and analyzing. Common firefighter roles might be noticed in things like daydreaming, “checking out” by scrolling social media, comfort eating, impulsivity, and reactivity.
On the more extreme end, and often corresponding to the wounds of the exiles they protect, these protectors could also manifest as harsh inner critics, perfectionism, anxiety, fears/phobias, disordered eating, retail therapy, sleeping, gambling, addictions, self-harm, panic attacks, and suicidality.
There are no bad parts
It is important to note that, in IFS, there are no bad parts. They have a positive intention and are trying to help you. Some are protecting in the best way they know how, even if the way they go about it sometimes makes a mess of your life, or results in behaviors that are stigmatized or not socially acceptable. Parts are not their roles, behaviors or beliefs, as these things are things that can change. They often have some basis doing what they do, and frequently they feel exhausted and doubtful that there could be a better way. With access to Self, however, there is opportunity to heal both the protectors and the exiles. Changes are integrated throughout the internal system as parts return to their naturally valuable, resourceful states creating a sense of balance, wholeness, and harmony – with more Self energy in the lead.
Concepts of Self and Other Parallels to IFS
A broad review of spiritual traditions, practices, and psychological approaches reveals parallel concepts of Self that are similar to the IFS view of Self, and of the way the IFS model works with parts. Perhaps the closest alignment to Self is within Mahayana Buddhism, where bodhicitta refers to the enlightened mind that awakens the heart with wisdom and compassion for all. Thich Nhat Hanh’s version of mindfulness is akin to Self, where inner children are recognized and embraced; fear is welcomed; and wounds are held. Further, many mindfulness practices are aimed toward accessing a state of spaciousness and calm in the present moment. Several other spiritual traditions hold an overarching belief of an inner essence within—sometimes referred to as Buddha nature, Self, Atman, Te, inner light, being, soul, and spirit.
Carl Jung’s work rests on the belief that untapped wisdom and the Self archetype can emerge in dreams. Active imagination involves visiting inner worlds to integrate the parts and archetypes that might block the wisdom of the Self, such as the Shadow. In IFS, it is parts—and especially protectors—that might occlude the Self. Humanistic psychotherapist Carl Rogers (1902-1987) introduced self-actualization and the belief that clients have all the resources they need within, if only their defenses can relax. His answer to this was a therapeutic alliance built on unconditional positive regard (UPR), genuineness, warmth and acceptance for the whole person. Similarly, in IFS the therapist’s connection to their Self fosters this kind of therapeutic alliance, while IFS interventions help foster more Self leadership within the client. Individuals are encouraged to find what works and resonates for their own internal world and belief system when conceptualizing and connecting to the Self within.
What is the Self in IFS?
Richard Schwartz, PhD, writes in The Larger Self:
“We all know about those luminous moments of clarity and balance…which come briefly now and again. However we get there, we suddenly encounter a feeling of inner plenitude and open heartedness to the world that wasn’t there the moment before. The incessant nasty chatter inside our heads ceases, we have a sense of calm spaciousness, as if our minds and hearts and souls had expanded and brightened. Sometimes, these evanescent experiences come in a bright glow of peaceful certainty that everything in the universe is truly okay, and that includes us – you and me individually – in all our poor struggling, imperfect humanity.”
Self is the centerpiece of the IFS model, but what is it, really? Richard Schwartz, PhD, describes Self as a different level than parts. It is competent, secure, calm, and receptive. The Self cannot be damaged and has the capacity to lead the internal system. Parts can occlude the Self, but are reassured and healed by the Self once they can separate, get to know it, and come to trust it. As more and more Self-trust develops inside, Self is more readily available to be with parts in whatever ways they most need. Relationally, Self brings deeper connection to oneself and others.
Self is:
A state of being
An inner guide and leader
Consciousness and clarity
Energy
A healing essence
Free of agenda, except in the direction of healing
Accessed, not resourced from outside oneself
A secure attachment figure for parts
The felt sense of Self may start as a very small drop of awareness. Some describe it as ease, spaciousness, warmth, open-heartedness, or a sense of calm. It can be experienced in many ways. When more fully embodied it might be noticed as a vibrating energy or warmth at the solar plexus or hands. Some report feeling lighter, more peaceful and radiant, joyful, fully in the present, or free of the efforting and striving so present in our daily lives. The expression of Self energy can vary across people in that not all the qualities that describe it need be present in equal measure.
Just like any relationship, with time and a developing sense of trust from parts, you may be able to more readily connect to Self. Pennies add up. Just as we train our muscles in movement to create muscle memory, returning to parts with the spaciousness of Self will, in time, become more and more accessible.
Bringing Parts and Self Together in IFS Therapy
Think of the Self as the sun and your parts as clouds. Some days are partly cloudy, others bright and sunny, and still others dark and stormy. Yet the sun is always there, no matter how many clouds cover its view and light. When parts trust enough to separate, the Self can emerge from behind the clouds to share its qualities of compassion, curiosity, calm, clarity, courage, connectedness, confidence, and creativity. One of the goals of IFS Therapy is to balance and harmonize the internal system. Once healed and unburdened, parts can take on a desired role inside that allows their natural talents and qualities to emerge. Self-led engagement, both within and without, is possible as a new way of relating to yourself, to others, and of being in the world.
Are you interested in getting to know your parts? A therapist at IFS Telehealth Collective can help you find and connect with those parts that need to be seen, heard, and ultimately healed by you. If you live in California, Florida, Massachusetts, Michigan, New York, or Oregon, please contact our Client Care Coordinator or call 503-447-3244.
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*Alicia Larsen Dabney is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #136816, Associate Professional Clinical Counselor #8016 supervised by Andrew Pflueger LMFT #86223, IFS Certified Therapist #CSL-0877, and Registered Art Therapist #20-261.
